Today was overcast and very cool outside. Normally, on a day like today, I’d think twice about going outside to exercise. The weather would make me hesitate. It looked overcast, like it would rain at any time, and I didn’t want to leave the warm coziness of our house for the cold outdoors. But I’m training, so I didn’t think twice. Of course I went out, especially since I wasn’t sure I’d be able to train tomorrow. When the cold greeted me outside, I just thought ahead to the day of the race, and thought what better shape I’d be in if I trained each available moment. And that made it easier.

I also used the walk/run method that my brother-in-law Mark told me about. By alternating walking and running, it cuts down on fatigue. I walked/ran at a 1:1 ratio, first running for a minute, then walking for a mintue, and so on. It was a really comfortable pace for me, and I felt like I could have gone on quite a bit longer like that. But for today I only had 20 minutes.

When I finished my walk/run, I was no longer cold but sweating. I felt invigorated and as if somwhow I had conquered the weather. Most of all I felt healthier and felt like I had increased my stamina. It feels good to work toward a goal.

I ran in a 5K today, one week since the last one I had run in. At the beginning of today’s 5K, I knew my mind was not in the right place, but I could not get myself out of that place. Last week I was able to run the entire race without stopping, and had my best time ever. My thinking for today’s race was that I wanted to top last week’s time. While that is a fine goal to have, I have found that it is the wrong kind of thinking for me. If I go out with something to prove, I’m assured not to have my best run. A better goal for me to focus on is just to do my best and feel happy about my run. Instead of focusing inward, I began concentrating on passing other people.  I wanted to get as far ahead as I could. It was a good way to tire myself out. Instead of finding my own pace, I started rushing. There were hills on the course, and my shins began to really hurt.

I had to stop a few times to take short walking breaks. I was disappointed that I had to stop but I just could not keep going. I had been frustrated that the path was a little bit narrow and that all the runners were on top of one another well into the first mile. I felt like I could have found a better pace if we were all more spread out. This might have contributed to my trying to pass people and find an open spot. I was surprised at myself though, trying to pass and get ahead of people. I guess it was a little glimpse of competitiveness within me. Instead of enjoying the beautiful surroundings of trees whose leaves were beginning to turn beautiful fall colors, I was trying to get ahead.

Around mile 2 I finally started thinking less about the others around me and more about finding my pace. I knew that if I wanted to continue running, and not have to walk the rest of the way, I’d have to stop worrying about the people around me and just concentrate on finding my pace. I was relieved that at least my earlier zealousness had finally calmed down and I could find my own rhythm, and settle into my own pace. Once I found my own pace, I was just fine. I came in a minute later than last week, but with the hilly course – a more difficult course than last week, and the fact that I was not able to focus well, I think it was still a pretty good time.

A comfortable pace. That is what I thought about on Saturday when I went for my run. Lately I’ve been able to find and settle into a comfortable pace. And I found that once I was in that pace, that I didn’t need to stop and walk after a mile, that I could just keep going.

Sunday was the day of the race. When I’m in a race, I have noticed that it helps me if I can focus inward rather than outward. If I focus outward, and look at the path ahead and the people ahead of me, I feel like I have such a long way to go, and it makes me tired. Instead, I focus inward. On Sunday, as I started running, I appreciated the beautiful sunlight and the cloudless day. I listened to some friendly conversation of people around me. And then I retreated inward to my thoughts.

I thought of how I had made sure to wake up early and eat something, in this case a piece of fresh focaccia bread from the farmer’s market the day before. I also made sure I was hydrated. I thought about the energy and strength that the carbs had given me, and how I felt great and not tired, not out of breath. I ran along happily thinking about how strong and filled with energy my body was.

I reached the 1st mile point and didn’t feel that I needed to stop. And so I kept on running. I started to feel a bit tired and then reminded myself that the second mile is always the hardest. I remembered how I had broken down the run in my mind into three manageable pieces. And I kept running. I didn’t want to stop. I felt comforted that even though I wasn’t familiar with the course, I could keep track of my progress using my watch. I was like the pilot flying by gages.

I reached the second mile point and didn’t stop. I hadn’t stopped so far, so why not keep going. Finally I heard someone say that there was just a half mile to go. And I knew that I wasn’t going to stop with such a short distance left. I heard a few parents around me telling their kids that came with them on the race that we were almost there, just a little bit more and we would finish. Hearing those words helped me to keep going as well – it felt like we were all in this together, even though I didn’t know anyone around me. We were all in it together, and all looking forward to getting to the finish line.

I heard the glorious sound of a plane taking off near by. The screaming engines sounded like a bear or tiger growling, marking its territory and showing its power with the sound of its growl. It made me feel like I was part of something bigger than just me. I felt comforted and enveloped by the majesty of the powerful jet taking off.

The finish line was in sight, and pretty soon I had crossed it. I had run the entire race without stopping. It was the first time ever that I had done this. It was my best race ever.  Correction – my best race so far.   : )

Today was race day. It was fun to see the progress I have made from the beginning of the summer, when I did my first 5K, to now. One really big stepping stone for me came in the last few weeks when I realized I was able to run a whole mile at a time and that I only need to take walking breaks in between the miles. And it’s so ironic that that discovery came out of being frustrated that I had a bad running day where I couldn’t even make 3 miles. It helped me greatly today during the race. I ran each mile and only walked in between miles for a few minutes to catch my breath. Amazingly it seems easier just to run the entire mile without stopping.

Today in the race, the first mile went by really quickly!  I couldn’t believe I had come up to the first mile marker when I did. This, even with the race beginning with running up a steep hill.

I remember after the race began, everything seemed quiet around me except for the sound of lots of feet in unison hitting the pavement. It was a great sound, and a great feeling to be part of it.

Running regularly and having a strategy of one warm up mile, one mile, and one home-stretch mile, really help break up the run for me into manageable pieces. I’m looking forward to the day when I can run the entire 5K from start to finish without walking at all.

Last Sunday was a disaster in terms of running. I think a few things contributed to this. Firstly, I was late starting out. I began my run about two hours later than I normally do. I felt thrown off, running at a different time than normal. By the time I went out for my run, it had also begun to get pretty hot and humid. I felt like I wanted to hurry through my run and just get it done. I thought I’d run faster and just finish sooner than normal. What I ended up doing was really tiring myself out. By trying to hurry, I became really out of breath and over-heated. I had been planning to run three miles, but by the time I finished two, I had no more energy. I could not run another step. I had to walk the rest of the way.

Last weekend I had something to prove, that I could pound out my run and get it done. That didn’t work at all. This weekend, I was much more humble, with much better results. I spent time talking to myself last night before I went to bed and this morning before I started my run. I was actually afraid that since I couldn’t make it three miles last Sunday, that maybe I wouldn’t be able to do it today either. I decided to break down my run, mile by mile.

The first mile, I told myself, is just the warm-up mile. No big deal, and no pressure whatsoever. The second mile is the hardest, when I get really tired. But it’s just one mile. The third mile is the cool down mile, or the home stretch mile. By breaking down the miles, it didn’t seem like I was going to run 3 miles any longer, but just 1 mile, with a warm-up mile before and a home stretch mile after. This was my plan to conquer 3 miles, after 2 miles conquered me last week.

I was all set to go but this morning when I woke up, there were a lot of clouds. Oh no, I thought, it can’t rain!  I’ve got to get this run in to prove to myself that I can do it. Or, if for nothing else, I ate pizza last night, and I’ve got to run it off. And I thought, do I really think I can go up against Mother Nature? If it’s going to rain, it’s going to rain. As long as there is no lightening, I’ll be out there. I can’t stop Mother Nature, she is more powerful than me, but I’m going to try and get my run in. And that’s what I did.

I began running. Easy does it, I thought. Do not anticipate the two miles after this one. Just run lightly and keep your mind in the moment. Keep your mind focused on the warm up. I looked at my watch as I began running, and I decided not to look at it again for the time being. What I found, between not looking at my watch and also by how I broke down the run in my mind, was that I was able to run the entire first mile without stopping to walk! In fact, I ran the first mile all the way, then walked for 3 minutes, then ran the second mile all the way without stopping, then walked for 3 minutes, then ran the third mile all the way without stopping. The only walking breaks I took during my 3-mile run today were between the miles. I felt triumphant! I felt that even Mother Nature was smiling down at me. As soon as I finished the third mile, the sun came out. But also, a few rain drops came down at the same time, cooling me off. Was Mother Nature giving me a thumbs up? I cracked a smile in spite of myself.

I like to know where I am in my run. It helps me pace myself. I have gone a different direction on the walking trail for a few weeks in a row, and I’m still trying to find landmarks on that trail. It’s a very pretty run, but much of it looks the same. I’m always on the lookout for the mile markers, and trying to correlate them to the time on my watch. I also look for landmarks so I can know how far I am from the next mile marker. My goal is to know where I am in my run, without having to look at a watch or count miles, but just by the landmarks I see around me.

The first time I ran this alternate way on the walking trail, I didn’t know any of the landmarks. I had to gauge where I was by the time on my watch. Knowing that it takes me approximately 45 minutes to run three miles, I can tell by the time on my watch how far along I must be. I compare that to the pilot that flies by gauges only – not by looking out the window. It feels a little odd not to know any of the landmarks, but I know that I can trust in the timing on my watch to know where I am.

And so I have fun on this new pathway, watching to discover any and all landmarks and to make this unfamiliar path into a familiar one.

Lots of new challenges in my run this morning. I ran from my town to the next town over, but this time with a detour to run up and down some stairs and then back on my way to the next town. I was able to get to the next town in just about the same time with the detour as I have in the past without the detour.

In terms of timing, I ran the first 7 minutes without taking a walking break. Then, I ran for 4 minutes and walked for 2, instead of running for 3 minutes and walking for 2. I added an extra minute of running.

The most inspiriational thing that happened on my run this morning? I was just past my detour and my lungs were screaming from having run up and down the stairs. I had been planning to run for 4 minutes and walk for 2 minutes but at that particular moment, I was just about at the 3 minute mark and I began to think that I should walk after 3 minutes. I thought I was just too tired after the stairs. It just so happens that at the same time, there was a group of runners running past me. As the group passed me and I looked at my watch to see if I had reached the 3 minute mark, the last man in the group turned his head toward me as the group ran by. He said, “You’re doing great!” Could he tell that I was just about to give up and start walking after 3 minutes?

Whatever the case, it was just the encouragement that I needed.  I said “Thank you!” as he passed by, and I kept on running until the 4 minute mark. With his encouragement I found the strength and stamina to keep going and keep to my goal of 4 minutes running without stopping to walk.

This brief exchange also showed me that we should never under estimate the power of encouragement and a few kind words.

Saturday: This morning I looked at my watch when I started to run and decided to just keep running until I got tired. I ran 6 minutes without stopping. Part of what may have maintained my stamina was that it was a very cool and overcast morning, and I was afraid that it might rain. I wanted to finish my run before any rain came. I was also afraid that if there was a storm coming, maybe lightening would develop. What do you do if you are in the middle of a run and lightening develops, and there is no quick way to get indoors? I have to figure out a plan for that so I’m prepared if it ever happens.

Sometimes I like to pretend things as I’m running, to make the time go faster. Today I pretended that my feet were tennis rackets and the earth was the tennis ball. I really tried to hit that tennis ball back everytime my feet touched the ground and bounce back off the earth forward until my other foot hit the ground and I could bounce forward again, continuously moving forward to my destination.

This weekend I didn’t feel quite as out of breath as I have in the past. Coincidentally, I recently had one of my routine CT scans. Reading the results is funny because they seem to put a lot of information in the description about all the different organs they see in the scan. I’ve just never heard of my organs being described before, and so to me it’s funny. The results said something about my fully expanded lungs, or something like that. It seemed like they were saying I have very healthy lungs. As I felt out of breath, I remembered my fully expanded lungs and I said to myself, “You’ve got great lungs so just run, baby, run!”

Another time when I was feeling tired, I thought of the deep dish pizza I had eaten the night before, and that gave me motivation to keep on going.

Sunday: Ran (mixed with walking) for an hour today, of unknown distance. Because of cloudy skies and because I didn’t have a ride back, I ran halfway to the next town and then turned around, finding some outdoor stairs to incorporate into my workout. It was fun to try something new and to incorporate running up and down the stairs into my running routine.

I ran for 7 minutes straight today without needing to stop and walk. I can feel the muscles in the back of my legs and my glutes now when I run, and they feel sort of stretched out, but comfortably so, so that I like the way they feel when I run. They are comfortable, or, I have found a comfortable position while running. It makes me want to run and feel my stretched out muscles. Makes me feel healthy, and like I’m toning my muscles and also (hopefully) improving my metablolism.

It was a cool day for running today and the cool breeze felt good. When I am running, I feel self-reliant, like I can depend on my body and depend on myself. It makes me feel powerful and free.

I ran 3 miles again yesterday and today (Saturday and Sunday) on the walking path. New challenges? I ran the 3 miles two days in a row – I haven’t done that before. Also, I always look at my watch and time myself – run 3 minutes, then walk 1 or 2 minutes, run 3 minutes, etc. Today was the first day that I didn’t feel like I needed to keep looking at my watch. I thought I’d just keep running until I got too tired. I ended up running for 4 minutes straight before needing a walking break and then another 4 minutes straight after that. Then I started to need more walking breaks. My guess is that maybe my body was just tired since I ran 3 miles two days in a row? And it’s never really my body, my legs could keep on going but it’s my lungs that always feel like they are going to explode and then I need to take a walking break. I hope eventually that this goes away and then I can truly truly enjoy running, without the discomfort of feeling like my chest is screaming out in agony for me to walk.

Another thing that I concentrated on today was not anticipating the path ahead. I’d catch myself thinking that I had to hurry up because I had to be at my destination in time because Jim would be there to pick me up. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I didn’t get there in time but for some reason I kept thinking I should hurry up. When I’m trapped in that type of thinking it’s good training for me to live in the moment and stop anticipating. I told myself, forget about the destination, forget about the time. What I’m doing now is running for 3 or 4 minutes straight. That’s all I need to worry about. If I think about what I’m doing now and just concentrate on that, I will be at my destination before I know it. And that’s exactly what happened.

I think my overall timing may have improved just a little. I think I can run the 3 miles just a few minutes faster than maybe a few weeks ago. I don’t keep exact track of my timing, but it seems like it’s going a little faster. The 3 miles doesn’t seem to be as long to me as it used to either. I’ve found what feels like to me to be the halfway point. It seems like nothing now to get to that point, and once I’m past that point, it seems like I’m just on the homestretch and it doesn’t feel like such a long way at all. I’m thinking of extending my course a little further for next week. That’s another thing I enjoy about running, there are always new challenges that one can add. Keep moving, keep growing.   : )

We’ve started a new habit on the weekends. I get up and run on the walking path from our town to the neighboring town, about 3 miles away. There, Jim picks me up and we go out to breakfast. It’s like my own private 5K race each weekend.

This weekend, Jim was working and so I ran three miles to the next town over, rested for 10 minutes and drank some water, and then went back home, running part of the way and walking much of it. Knowing that Jim wouldn’t be there to pick me up, I could have shortened my run to 1.5 miles and then headed back home, still running 3 miles in total. But I didn’t want to do that. I needed the challenge. I needed to continue the weekend routine of running from one town to the next.

One thing I discovered on the way back home is that it seemed like running was actually less tiring than walking. This surprised me but it was a pleasant surprise. I also noticed how I love how my body feels when I’m in motion. I actually noticed that earlier this week in my Cardio Kickboxing class. That class adds in balance to the motion – you have to have balance to raise your leg and kick. I think that’s when I first noticed that I enjoyed feeling my body in motion. Today I enjoyed the feeling again on my run.

Not to mention that running for me is a stress reliever. Whatever my worries are, I can run them out. When I’m finished running, I’m too tired to feel anxious.

I also challenged myself today in the strategy for my run. I decided to run for 3 minutes and walk for 1 minute. (Last weekend I ran for 2 minutes and walked for 1 minute). Near the end (when I was almost to the next town) I ran for 3 minutes and walked for 2 minutes. On the way back, between several stretches of walking, I ran for 2 minutes and walked for 2 mintues. My entire route today was about 6 miles. Although the second half of it was mostly walking, and I had a 10 minute break in between, I felt like it was a step toward running for longer distances than 3 or 4 miles. Slowly I can piece together longer runs.

I absolutely love having something like running to work on. It is so satisfying to me to start on something and watch it grow – watch my endurance grow, and the distance I can go, etc. It makes me feel like I’m making progress in my life, and that makes me feel that I’m thriving.