Theoretically, Spring will come. It doesn’t feel like it though. Spring is something that exists in my memory and in my dreams, but there doesn’t seem to be any way to get to it in real life. Looking at the calendar, it seems that in another month it should be just about here. But it might as well be a million years away. Right now there is no rescue, no break, no mercy from the cold and snow.

At first, winter was kind of exciting. It meant the approach of the holidays. Then in January, one knew that this is how winter is, and this is the time of year for it. But now at the end of February when we’ve trudged through snow and cold since November, it is becoming a bit dreary.

I keep thinking that the weather has to break sometime, but it has not. I can’t imagine a time when buds will appear on the trees, when a warmer wind will caress rather than burn one’s cheeks, and when the sunshine of Spring and Summer will hug and envelope me. I long for the warmth and gentleness of Spring….

January 1, 2014….The first day of the new year. Seems like the last year went by so quickly. It seems like just a few days ago that I wrote a post on January 1st of last year.

January is probably my least favorite month. It’s snowy and really cold. I saw the forecast for next week and on Monday, the high temperature for the day is forecasted as -7. That will be the high for the day, not even 0 degrees. And I start to think, how did I get here to this cold, snowy, barren time of year. I think it all started back at Halloween. There were a series of holidays and special days seemingly back to back that slid by without skipping a beat. First Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then getting ready for the holidays, gift shopping, Christmas card writing, cookie baking, then came Christmas Eve and Christmas. Then a week later was New Year’s Eve and now we have it – January 2014. The middle of winter. No more holidays to look forward to.

It’s specifically at this time of year that one starts to dream about vacations in a tropical place, and of summer, which seems such a long way off.

In the cold sober light of day on the first day of the new year, a toast of tomato juice and coffee, to the new year….but of course this is a much too depressing toast. Let’s toast instead to new beginnings, to new resolutions, to new opportunites and the excitement of one last present not yet opened….the new year.

Checking my email, closer and closer to Christmas, I receive numerous advertisements for online shopping that even two days before Christmas Eve, promise that you will receive the gift on Christmas Eve, in time for Christmas. Oh the rush, the thrill, of last minute internet Christmas shopping. Sitting in my robe in front of the computer, sipping a cup of warm coffee, I am enticed by promises that there is still time to order and receive a gift by Christmas.

Imagine, from the comfort of my own home, two days before Christmas, the world is at my feet. I can order exotic gifts such as chocolates, Hawaiian print shirts, and more, and they will still be delivered in time for Christmas. It almost makes me want to wait until this late date to start my shopping knowing that swiftly and efficiently, I can order and receive the gifts. The delivery is almost as quick as Santa’s sleigh – although his is still a bit quicker, delivering all gifts in one night….

Alas, my Christmas shopping is just about done, I have but a few small things to purchase from a local department store. But it’s nice to know that if I needed to, I could still hop on the internet and get the job done…

Merry Christmas!

So I signed up for National Novel Writing Month. My brother told me about it a few months ago. What is it? It’s this challenge where you write 50,000 words during the month of November. In other words, you write a short novel in a month.

The goal is to write the whole thing – the whole 50,000 words. It doesn’t have to be great or the final draft or anything, just 50,000 words. (According to the website, that’s an average of 1,667 words per day). They say that most people are too overwhelmed to write a novel even if they want to, so participating in a challenge like this is to actually just get something written.

I don’t understand exactly how it works but basically you do the writing on your own computer or in your own notebook and just peiodically post your word count to the website. Then, at the end of the month, you can upload your novel to the website to have it validated – the website will officially do a word count of the text you send in.  If you have written 50,000 words or more, you are declared a winner.  (Anyone and everyone can be a winner, you just need to write 50,000 words).

So I’ve done the easy part, I’ve signed up, and I’ve ordered a cool notebook from the website.  Now all I have to do is write the 50,000 words.  I’m kicking around a few story lines but haven’t pinned one down definitely yet. The website for National Novel Writing Month is www.nanowrimo.org.

Happy writing!

Recently, we heard about a really good shoe store for runners. Jim and I checked it out today. With every new hobby comes the inevitable purchasing of gear. It felt like when I was a little kid going to the store for new shoes before a new school year starts. There is some type of excitement and anticipation that comes along with the purchase of new shoes.

The shoe store was great and the salesman helping us was very knowledgeable and he obviously had a passion for running. He was familiar with a lot of running events and asked me what my next run would be and what my goals were. He measured my feet carefully and brought out several pairs of shoes for me to try. I felt very special, sitting there, taking time to find just the right shoes. I also got special running socks which really fit well and felt as if someone were hugging my feet.

The salesman put each pair of shoes on my feet and tied them snuggly. He asked me to walk around in them to see how they felt. I walked towards the back of the store and then returned, not only walking but flexing my feet, bending them different ways, trying to really notice how the shoes would feel on my feet. The salesman asked my husband if I have trouble making decisions.

I felt like this young salesman was a very good judge of character. In just the 10 minutes that he had been helping me try on different shoes, he had picked up on a major component of my personality. I guess I just hadn’t expected this from someone younger than me and who had only met me a few minutes before. It made me wonder what others see in me when they first meet me and how this trait (difficulty making decisions) affects my life.

I feel like I must apologize for what I’m about to say next, except that this is the blog where I can say my true feelings, the good with the bad and the ugly. Perhaps I was feeling a little bit sensitive at the time, but, I immediately felt like everything around me had become crystal clear - now I knew why I’ve never become the CEO of a company, because I can’t make decisions very well, and not only that, people who barely know me can tell this about me! It’s ironic to me to think of the many ways I have always tried to strive for things in my life, but in the end, I was oblivious to certain key things. I guess we all have trouble seeing the truths about ourselves. We are not always as self-aware as we wish. I wish I had met this salesman years ago, and I wish he would have given me a heads up at the time. Sometimes we find honesty and truth in the strangest places.

In the end, we all do the best we can. Inadvertantly, with the purchase of my new shoes came a new bit of self-awareness as well. And a new chance to accept myself even with my own perceived short-comings.