Recently, we heard about a really good shoe store for runners. Jim and I checked it out today. With every new hobby comes the inevitable purchasing of gear. It felt like when I was a little kid going to the store for new shoes before a new school year starts. There is some type of excitement and anticipation that comes along with the purchase of new shoes.

The shoe store was great and the salesman helping us was very knowledgeable and he obviously had a passion for running. He was familiar with a lot of running events and asked me what my next run would be and what my goals were. He measured my feet carefully and brought out several pairs of shoes for me to try. I felt very special, sitting there, taking time to find just the right shoes. I also got special running socks which really fit well and felt as if someone were hugging my feet.

The salesman put each pair of shoes on my feet and tied them snuggly. He asked me to walk around in them to see how they felt. I walked towards the back of the store and then returned, not only walking but flexing my feet, bending them different ways, trying to really notice how the shoes would feel on my feet. The salesman asked my husband if I have trouble making decisions.

I felt like this young salesman was a very good judge of character. In just the 10 minutes that he had been helping me try on different shoes, he had picked up on a major component of my personality. I guess I just hadn’t expected this from someone younger than me and who had only met me a few minutes before. It made me wonder what others see in me when they first meet me and how this trait (difficulty making decisions) affects my life.

I feel like I must apologize for what I’m about to say next, except that this is the blog where I can say my true feelings, the good with the bad and the ugly. Perhaps I was feeling a little bit sensitive at the time, but, I immediately felt like everything around me had become crystal clear - now I knew why I’ve never become the CEO of a company, because I can’t make decisions very well, and not only that, people who barely know me can tell this about me! It’s ironic to me to think of the many ways I have always tried to strive for things in my life, but in the end, I was oblivious to certain key things. I guess we all have trouble seeing the truths about ourselves. We are not always as self-aware as we wish. I wish I had met this salesman years ago, and I wish he would have given me a heads up at the time. Sometimes we find honesty and truth in the strangest places.

In the end, we all do the best we can. Inadvertantly, with the purchase of my new shoes came a new bit of self-awareness as well. And a new chance to accept myself even with my own perceived short-comings.